"Farrell often looks constipated, like he needs to get off that horse and hit the commode as opposed to hold onto his troops or his audience."

"Even at the end of three hours, the accents still never stopped being an annoyance. "

"A horrendously bad movie, a genuine 40-car pile-up of literally epic proportions, a three-way head-on collision of bad writing, bad acting, and bad direction."

"So awful that it's almost good."

"I respect Stone as a filmmaker, but this movie is punishment rather than entertainment."

"So misconceived, so shrill, so fetishy is Oliver Stone's epic, so unintentionally hilarious a stew of paganism and Freudianism, that it makes Conan the Barbarian look like Gladiator."

"It is such a majestic disaster, that I have a bizarre sort of affection for it, like for a weirdly deformed child, maybe."

"With its rampant homoeroticism, elaborate costumes and jumbled fight choreography, one would assume this is a Joel Schumacher flick not an Oliver Stone production."

"An enormous cinematic mess. Alexander is not so much mind-numbingly boring as it is intriguingly nonsensical."

"It's a perplexing muddle: Every moment of spectacular battlefield action is offset by unintentionally hilarious scenes from Alexander's private life."

"Oliver Stone doesn't just create trainwrecks. He knocks the train off the rails, sets it on fire, then kills every person onboard. (And takes three hours to do it.)"

"You could literally chop Alexander up into six 30-minute blocks, reassemble it at random, and the movie would make the exact same amount of sense (i.e. none). "

"Puerile writing, confused plotting and shockingly off-note performances make Oliver Stone's epic film a disappointment."

Espectacular

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